its like you want to be normal, but you can’t?
eating all the medications, pills traditional medicine regular check ups are not working and you feel pain everytime. sometimes it hurts so bad but sometimes it just comes and goes. there is like one point of time when you feel like dying and that that’s the best option at that point of time. when you think back, no i did what my doctor told me what so why does the problem keep coming back?
am i destined to be sick? i dont like to trouble people, its like being a burden to others, i dont like that, to berhutang budi, or to get belas kasihan from others. im not the kind to accept charity. its like fuck la siah, why me? now everytime i breathe i always pray to god that he gives me another day to live, as i still have a lot to accomplish. every time i breathe the pain is getting more and more hurtful. what am i supposed to do? its like you know your days are outnumbered. i think i should start distancing myself from people. then maybe they’ll forget about me so even if i leave it wouldnt hurt much. well maybe not hurt at all.
